Is Sarah Palin High-Tailing it for the Lower 48?

BUYERS: Sarah and Todd Palin
LOCATION: Scottsdale, AZ
PRICE: $1,695,000
SIZE: 7,971 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Buckle your safety belts, butter beans, because the 2012 Republican presidential race is on. Misters Trump, Daniels and Huckabee are out out out and Newtie G., Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Ricky Santorum are in in in. There are several others with a dark horse is the race–i.e. Ron Paul and Herman Cain–but what all the righty-tighties and social conservatives really want to know is if the Tea Party's de-facto Queen of Hearts Sarah Palin will soon throw her snow shoes into the political circus ring.

Given that it would be a logistical nightmare to run a presidential campaign from the great but remote state of Alaska, its been widely rumored for quite some time that the former governor–who famously quit her term half-way through in order to twitter like a demon and appear on her own reality program–might want a home base in the Lower 48 from where she can headquarter her as yet undeclared run for the presidency.

Last weekend a clue emerged in regards Miz Palin's potential presidential intentions; She and the Mister (allegedly) purchased dee-luxe desert digs in the far northern reaches of Scottsdale, AZ. We're not sure what exactly the Palin clan's interest in Arizona is–besides it being about 100 degrees warmer than Alaska in the winter–but around the 2010 Christmas holidays Missus and Mister Palin's eldest daughter–teen mother turned new-jawed abstinence advocate Bristol Palin–laid down $172,000 for a 3,929 square foot house in Maricopa, AZ, just south of Phoenix.

Property records show the 7,971 square foot Scottsdale mansion in question was acquired for $1,695,000 in cold hard cash through a Delaware-based entity called "Safari Investments." Missus Palin's people have yet to confirm that the newly-completed crib in Scottsdale was purchased by Missus and Mister Palin but circumstantial evidence mounts and reports of the couple's alleged purchase pile up.

The Phoenix, AZ attorney whose names appear on documents related to the property declined to comment but as it turns out Safari is the name of the Petersville, AK lake where Missus and Mister Palin own a couple of vacation cabins for which some reports indicate they've failed to pay adequate property taxes. A black mini-van with blacked out windows and Alaska plates was recently videotaped leaving and returning to the property and the driver also declined to comment and rather nicely asked the reporter(s) to vamoose.

Listing information for the walled and gated estate in an upscale enclave half-way between Scottsdale and Carefree shows it contains 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms, a 6-car garage, a gas fireplace or two (or three) and an elevator shaft.

The vast and voluminous open plan main living area has double-height ceilings, stone floors, built-in entertainment center, carved stone fireplace jammed up into the corner, dining area with buffet niche and staircase and balcony with wrought iron railings. Just off the great room an oddly-shaped and window-wrapped gourmet kitchen has a sizable center island, high-grade appliances including double under-counter ovens, hickory-colored raised panel cabinetry and black granite counter tops.

Extensive additional living and entertainment areas located in the full basement include a wine cellar, home theater with tiered seating platforms and an all-but-windowless family room with built-in wet bar.

Four of the bedrooms are located on the main floor and each has a private facility. The sprawling master suite on the second level features an acre of wall-to-wall beige carpeting, a carved stone fireplace, a gigantic walk-in closet for all of Mister Palin's flannel shirts and Missus Palin's perfectly-tailored power suits and a trellis-covered terrace with outdoor fireplace. The large voyeur-friendly pooper features a jetted tub for two separated from a multi-headed walk-in shower by a large window that makes it convenient for anyone in the shower to watch anyone in the bathtub and vice-versa.

The flat saguaro-dotted backyard has a number of loggias, unnaturally green grass patches and terraces that surround the rectangular swimming pool and nearby spa. An open-air cabana with fireplace provides a shady respite from the sizzling and scorching desert sun.

Your Mama wonders if Senator John McCain and his wife Cindy will bring out the Arizona welcome wagon for Missus and Mister Palin or if they'll leave that job to some of the state's other conservative honchos like Governor Jan Brewer and/or Maricopa County's tough-talking sheriff Joe Arpaio.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage via Hot Pads

Friday Mish Mash

1.
The executor(s) of Dame Elizabeth Taylor's estate have reportedly heaved her house in Bel Air on the market with an asking price of $8,600,000. No official listing has hit the interweb but according to the Wall Street Journal Miz Taylor acquired the gated 1.2 acre estate and the approximately 7,000 square foot ranch-style house in 1981. It has previously been owned by Nancy Sinatra Sr.

The house has 5 bedrooms including a master lined with Dame Elizabeth's signature lavender, the color of her eyes, don'tcha know. The living room has a beamed ceiling and an office was fashioned from a former screening room.

The grounds include a swimming pool, koi pond, hothouse for growing orchids and a terraced English garden.

Your Mama suspects this house will be snatched up by a developer before it ever hits the open market, knocked down and replaced with something more than twice its since. Such is the residential real estate "progress" in the 90201 and 90077.

2.
Joan Collins, the lacquered lady best known as Alexis Carrington on the 1980s evening soap story Dynasty, has put her New York City apartment on the market with an asking price of $2,895,000 with monthly maintenance of $2,914.

The 1,900 square foot combination spread at The Dorchester building on E. 57th Street has 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, hardwood floors throughout and a lot of 1980s day-core that includes–horror or horrors–black mini blinds in the Barbie pink-colored den, a zebra-striped sofa and ottoman in the living room and–natch–a Blackamoor statue or two.

According to the New York Post Miz Collins had a going away party at the apartment attended by a bunch of old ladies like Arlene Dahl and a gaggle of gays that included Alan Cumming and Bravo's Andy Cohen.

3.
According to the Daily Mail Victoria and David Beckham have leased an ocean front house in Malibu, CA to the monetary tune of more than $60,000 per month.

Listing information shows the newly built and boxy contemporary sits on 1.1 bluff-top acres, measures 10,180 square feet and includes a total of 7 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms divided between a main and guest house.

Glass panels open the house to the ocean view balconies, backyard terraces, a 50-foot long swimming pool, spa and shallow lawn the runs to the edge of the steep bluff that tumbles down to the sand.

4.
Surely His Purple Majesty Prince has had his people pay the $368,382 past due mortgage
payments for a 20-ish acre spread he owns in Chanhassen, MN, outside of Minneapolis. Right?

30 Rock's Jack McBrayer Buys House in the Hills

BUYER: Jack McBrayer
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,975,000
SIZE: 2,594 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Emmy nominated actor/comedian Jack McBrayer began exercising his southern-accented funny bone in the mid-1990s with The Second City Theatre in Chicago where he first came into contact with comedy's reigning queen Tina Fey.

In the early- to mid-naughts, long before Miz Fey's boob-toob juggernaut 30 Rock ever hit the airwaves, Mister McBrayer created and honed his bubbly, wide-eyed and simpleminded NBC page character Kenneth Parcell on The Conan O'Brien Show. Eventually that character, a quirky half-witted hillbilly who goes to New York with stars in his eyes and a bus ticket home in his pocket, wound up on Tina Fey's tour de sitcom force, a turn of showbiz events that earned him fame, fortune and legions of fervent fans. Mister McBrayer has also appeared in the films Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Forgetting Sarah Marshall as well as on a number of tee-vee programs including Arrested Development and Phineas and Ferb.

Given that 30 Rock tapes in New York City it seems strange that the Macon, Georgia-born Mister McBrayer would want or need a multi-million dollar house in Tinseltown but, according to our eerily well-informed celebrity real estate whistle blower Lucy Spillerguts, Mister McBrayer recently plunked down $1,975,000 for a fully-rehabbed residence in the Hollywood Hills above the historic and charming Beachwood Canyon neighborhood.

The "contemporary" but architecturally unremarkable residence, according to listing information we cajoled from the interweb, measures 2,594 square feet over two floors and includes 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. The nearly one-third acre hillside property recently underwent an extensive two-year overhaul during which the hillside at the back of the house was re-engineered and a large retaining wall added that created a flat promontory with million dollar views of the surrounding canyons, the Hollywood Sign, Griffith Observatory and downtown. Say what you will about Los Angeles but living in Lala Land with a view like this house has is akin to living in Chicago with a view of the lake or in Brooklyn with a distant view on Manhattan.

A front-facing two-car garage dominates the narrow street frontage. The somewhat awkward entry to the house is around the side through a see-through gate that swings opens to staggering views and a wide terrace that continues past the front door and wraps around the back of the house. Iffin Your Mama were to have overhauled this house we would have done this front area differently with a walled courtyard entry that would not only provide additional semi-private outdoor space but also a gratifying sense of drama and anticipation as the eye is drawn through the courtyard to the front door and the dynamic and iconic views.

The main living space, a glass-lined living/dining room with powerful city views, connects to the updated and upgraded kitchen through a wide doorway. The honey-colored hardwood floors in the living/dining room run into the cozy but well-arranged kitchen that includes a vintage range, built-in wine fridge, pantry storage, a center work island and flat-fronted cabinets with nipple-like knobs. A day-dreamy corner window that allows the dishwasher to ponder the iconic Hollywood sign as they scrub the devil out of the frying pan.

A bank of cabinets perfect for storing bongs and board games surrounds the staircase to the lower level where a celebrity-sized master suite has a hookah lounge-sized sitting area wrapped in windows with panoramic views. Mister McBrayer's new boo-dwar includes a walk-in closet and bathroom with double sinks, separate soaking tub, frameless glass shower with multiple shower heads and a separate cubby for the terlit. The walls into which the sinks are sunk in the master bathroom are papered with a shiny silver wall covering printed with over-scaled white flowers. Nobody loves shiny like Your Mama loves shiny so, in theory, silver wallpaper makes us pee with decorative glee. However this particular choice of wallpaper feels a little forced and trendy, particularly when paired with that snippet of electric apple green paint that surrounds the doorway into the closet.

Thankfully, a spiral staircase connects the second level living spaces with the lower level backyard, otherwise Mister McBrayer's pool party guests would be required to traipse through his private quaters in order to get from the kitchen to the pool and spa. A shallow covered patio directly off the master bedroom's sitting area looks like it barely provides any real shade. Pity that because it's damn sunny in Southern California and shade is a desirable feature for all but the most viciously over-tanned. The concrete patio extends halfway around the amoebic glass tiled swimming pool where it abruptly ends and becomes a narrow strip of lawn large enough only for small to mid-size pooches to do their dirty bizness. The strip of grass wraps around the remainder of the pool and the raised circular spa that can both be light in a variety of theatrical colors including lavender. To be honest, puppies, Your Mama isn't entirely positive that the spa is not at least partially visible from a couple of the nearby houses so it may not be the best place for Mister McBrayer to get romantic with whomever it is he gets romantic with. However, if your idea of relaxation is wallowing in a vat of near boiling water like you're a damn carrot in a stew than this is probably a perfectly impressive and glittery spa in which to do it.

Based on a few short minutes of entirely unscientific research and a leg up from a New York City-based editor, Your Mama is pretty sure that Mister McBrayer's New York City crib, a one bedroom and one bathroom condo in a fairly new and architecturally undistinguished building near Lincoln Center, was purchased in August of 2008 for $1,350,000.

listing photos: Everett Fenton Gidley for Teles Properties

Dan Castellaneta Double Whammy II

BUYER: Dan Castellaneta and Deb Lacusta
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $5,700,000
SIZE: 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We were first alerted to the Castellaneta-Lacusta's latest real estate acquisition by The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial. We next consulted a wise oracle in the chit-chatty celebrity real estate gossip grapevine, let's call her Chatty Cathy, who whispered to Your Mama that Mister Castellaneta and Miz Lacusta found their new home, a glassy contemporary just a few blocks away from their Colcord crib, by attending an open house.

Property records show the couple closed on the property in late April 2011, paying $5,700,000 for the multi-winged single-story sprawler that includes a 4 bedroom main house plus a 1 bedroom guest house and a total of 4.5 bathrooms.

Like many of the large homes in the hoity-toity 'hood, the Castellanetta-Lacusta's new digs are hidden behind thick foliage and electronically-controlled gates. The double-gated circular driveway rises to a cramped-looking motor court with three car garage points the way to the front entry. A wide stone stair and walkway connects the motor court to the front door. Inside smooth wood floors–they look like white oak to Your Mama but may very well be some other type of wood–spread out through the main living spaces that include a casual "formal" living room with sky-lit ceiling and flat-screen tee-vee built into a wood wall panel. The formal dining room, separated from the entry by a trio of floating panels fitted with opaque ribbed glass, has a wall of floor to ceiling windows and another full wall of sleek cabinetry with both open and closed storage and display areas.

Another trio of floating panels fitted with opaque ribbed glass separate the dining room from the L-shaped open plan family area of the house that includes a high-ceilinged family/dining area with stone and stainless steel fireplace flanked by a massive built-in entertainment cabinet with open and closet storage and display space. We could do without the stainless steel detail above the fireplace. We'd much prefer to set all that crisp and clean modernism with a heavily saturated and perhaps sinister photograph like, say, one of artist Gregory Crewdson's thickly detailed and cinematic but uncomfortably bleak pictures. Just a thought. Anyhoo, at opposite ends of the room walls of glass slide open, one end of the room spills out to a covered dining terrace that overlooks the flat lawn and motor court at the front of the house and the other opens to marry the room to the courtyard-like backyard.

The angular kitchen has both stainless steel and smooth flat-fronted wood cabinetry, a massive center island with breakfast bar, sea foam green glass back splash and top-grade commercial-style appliances that include a Mercedes-sized range with six burners and a damn griddle. A full wall of floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors merges the kitchen with the backyard.

A dark-bottomed rectangular swimming pool with narrow sunbathing terrace anchors the extreme rear of the property. A small piazza-like space with built in barbecue and outdoor fireplace both separates and joins the main house to the detached one-bedroom guest house adjacent to and situated just higher than the swimming pool.

Mister Castellaneta and Miz Lacusta's new neighbors include a number of very high-profile peeps. Retired boxer Sugar Ray Leonard owns the house next door, much awarded comedienne/actor/gab-fest hostess Whoopi Goldberg owns a large house around the corner as does increasing mouthy and opinionated comedian Bill Cosby and the massive resort-hotel style hillside compound of Hollywood super-heavyweight Steven Spielberg is directly across the street.

listing photos (new house, bottom): Prudential California / Brentwood