Friday Mish-Mash: Are the Seinfelds Moving on Over to the East Side?

Few modern day celebs are more identified with New York City's Upper West Side than comedian Jerry Seinfeld. On his long-running, financially fruitful and eponymous 1990s sit-com Seinfeld, his "character" Jerry Seinfeld lived in a fairly ordinary one-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side.

In real life, Mister Seinfeld also lives in on the Upper West Side, albeit in a far larger apartment in one of the neighborhood's most desirable and delicious apartment buildings. Mister Seinfeld, his wife Jessica and their three youngins currently occupy a high-floor duplex apartment at the hulking, tri-towered Beresford building on the corner of Central Park West and West 81st Street. The Seinfeld's pad formerly belonged to virtuoso violinist Isaac Stern. He also owns a townhouse-type property around the corner from his apartment where he houses (part of) his fleet of Porsches.

Other high-profile residents residents of the mighty Beresford include editrix extraordinaire Helen Gurley Brown who lives in a fab 4-floor penthouse in one of the towers, the dee-voon Diana Ross, mustachioed investigative journalist John Stossel and volatile tennis champ John McEnroe who also lives in a 4-floor tower penthouse. Sublime actress Glenn Close sold her two-terrace pad at the Beresford in August 2010 for $10,200,000.

The Seinfelds–despite their Upper West Side quintessence–appear to have come down with the Itchy Real Estate Foot Syndrome that has created a need for them to peep large and lavish townhomes on the–scandal!–Upper East Side. That's right, kids, it looks like the Seinfelds just might want to jump ship move on over to the Upper East Side.
The comedian and the cook book writer reportedly had a look see at music industry titan Lyor Cohen's spectacular townhouse on East 94th Street, listed last year for $28,000,000 and now priced at $26,000,000.

Listing information states the 25-foot wide house (floor plan above) has a fully restored Cass Gilbert-designed limestone façade, private single-car garage with direct entry, 6 fireplaces and an elevator that services all six floors plus the basement.

There are, by our count, 5 bedroom suites each with private facilities plus a sixth suite–labeled as 'gym' on the floor plan–with private bath and sauna. Three additional powder poopers are conveniently located throughout the lower levels; one off the circular gallery on the ground floor, another off the stair landing on the parlor level and a final one hidden in a bank of closets in the third floor family room.

We'd like to take special note of the ground level eat-in kitchen that opens to a rear garden and includes a walk-in pantry. A dumb waiter opposite the pantry lifts din-din to a butler's pantry one floor above that adjoins the oval formal dining room. That, children, is how it's done right proper by a smart architect.

The sixth floor, given over entirely to the master suite, is generously scaled but features a layout that will surely offend some folks' fine sensibilities and sense of decorum. A semi-public hall–the stair and elevator landing–links the various areas. At one end a door opens into a hall flanked by a pair of large walk-in closets leads to a large bedroom with fireplace. At the other end a small study with built-in cabinetry opens to a private terrace perfect for a pre-coital doobie or a post-coital cigarette. In between the two rooms the bathroom is split into two parts: On one side of the hall a pooper and sink and other the other a long counter with two sinks and a party-sized walk-in shower space. That means, puppies, a pre-shower pee requires a naked dart across the hall to the terlit and another naked dart back to the shower. Not everyone who can afford a 20-plus million dollar townhouse will care to dart around their bedroom like that.
The New York property gossips also snitched this week that the couple toured a six-floor townhouse with elegant limestone façade on East 73rd Street currently listed with a $23,000,000 price tag. The fully renovated five bedroom and 5 full and 2 half bathroom house (floor plan above) has 5 fireplaces, elevator, a full-height basement level outfitted with laundry room and gym, a small garden off the ground floor kitchen for barbecues, a terrace off a fifth floor bedroom and a planted roof terrace. The house is equipped with state-of-the art everything including a water purification system and central stereo system.

We know which one we'd choose. What about the children? Which one make a better house for Mister Seinfeld's family of five?

When not in New York City, the Seinfelds own a 12-acre ocean front estate on fancy-pants Further Lane in East Hampton, NY that he bought from Billy Joel in 2000 for about $32,000,000. The Seinfeld estate includes a sprawling shingled mansion with broad ocean-side terraces, a lap-length swimming pool with adjacent cabana, a private path the water's edge, a football field-sized front lawn and, instead of a de rigueur tennis court, the Seinfelds famously installed a baseball diamond at the front of the property near the entrance gates. A detached residence near the baseball diamond–presumably for staff and/or guests–has it's own swimming pool.

floor plans: Sotheby's International Realty