Your Mama Hears...

...through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine that New York City-based comedy couple Will Arnett and Amy Poehler have vacated–or will soon vacate–the Beverly Hills, CA mansion they've been leasing since the end of 2009.

Three-time Emmy-nominated Miz Poehler, a veteran of Saturday Night Live, currently stars in the sitcom Parks and Recreation. Over the years she's exercised her funny bone in a slew of movies that include Baby Momma and Mean Girls with gal pal and SNL alum Tina Fey. Three-time Emmy-nominated Mister Arnett's film and television credits include Arrested Development, Blades of Glory, 30 Rock and Brief Interviews With Hideous Men. He most recently starred in the spectacularly un-funny sitcom Running Wilde, a show that was mercifully removed from the air.

The gated 1926 East Coast-style traditional the Arnett-Poehlers leased sits behind a high hedge on a pretty palm tree-lined street in the Bev Hills flats. The property is currently listed for sale with an asking price of $6,995,000 and for lease with a hair-raising $29,000 per month price tag. Listing information shows the updated residence includes 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms plus a staff suite with private pooper. Other features include a paneled family room with wet bar, a cook's kitchen with center island and park-like grounds with a heated swimming pool and cabana in the backyard.

As the Missing Persons sang back in the 1980s, "nobody walks in L.A." But iffin they did, the Arnett-Poehlers could push their strollers–they have two wee boy children–over to several Sunset Boulevard estates owned by other rich and famous folks including über entrepreneurs Stewart and Lynda Resnick (they own Teleflora, FIJI Water, POM Wonderful), Guess Jeans' co-founder Georges Marciano and pop-grandma Madonna.

No word on if the Arnett-Poehlers intend to maintain a West Coast abode or if they plan to high tail it back to New York City where they own a 2,446 square foot condominium with a wrap around terrace at the architecturally banal One Morton Square building in the far West Village. The droll duo acquired their current crib in the NYC in April of 2007. Property records and previous reports reveal they paid $5,275,000 for the apartment just a few months prior to selling a smaller apartment in the same building for $2,200,000.

listing photo: The Dean Company

Weekend Wrap Up

1.
Although the hostess of Top Chef Padma Lakshmi owns a funky loft apartment in New York City's East Village that she bought in January of 2008 for $1,650,000 she's reportedly on the hunt for a new pad that she and her baby Krishna can call home. According to the fine folks at Curbed (via the New York Post) Miss Lakshmi was recently spotted taking a tour of a 4,535 square foot pre-war pad in the Village with 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and a pocketbook punishing $10,995,000 asking price.

2.
There's no celeb connection on this one, kitty cats, but we're going to have a looky-loo anyways because this house in Houston, TX is a real damn doozy that's really not to be missed. Before you go any further we suggest y'all get a big fat nerve pill down in you, buckle your real estate safety belts and prepare yourself for a bumpy ride through some hard core decorative despicable of the highest magnitude.

3.
A week or more ago we dissed and discussed an historical mansion in London's celebrity-packed Highgate 'hood last listed at £7,950,000–that's 12,803,600 American at today's rates–and purchased by British waif-model pioneer Kate Moss. Some of her (alleged and reported) plans for the new place include installing a $65,000 kitchen, an entertainment room with stage and karaoke machine and a $1,500,000 gym. Pleeze. Who spends a million and a half clams on a home body torture facility ? That's just plain ludicrous.

Anyhoo, this week comes along the real estate news that the string bean unloaded her former home in St. John's Wood for £10,000,000. That's $16,105,200 at today's rates according to our currency conversion contraption and four million more than she paid for her new place in Highgate so it seems the model knows how to make money.

4.
Is professional dribbler Kobe Bryant building himself a fancy 14,500 square foot castle with a two-level sport court in the fancy-schmancy gated community of Pelican Crest down behind the Orange Curtain on California's Newport Coast? Could be. Mister Bryant already owns two mansions in the nearby Pelican Ridge community so Your Mama can't fathom why he'd want a third mansion in such close proximity to the two he already owns but then again who are we to question the real estate ways of the rich and famous?

5.
Anyone who's ever craved a Big or Little Edie Beale moment can now rent their famous Grey Gardens estate in East Hampton, NY. The cost: $135,000 for two weeks in August. A few flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that works out to an astonishing $9,642 and 86 damn cents per day.

The current owners–writer Sally Quinn and former executive editor of The Washington Post Ben Bradlee–purchased the derelict house in 1979 and worked that shit over something fierce, hunnies. We're not sure how they got rid of the cat crap smell but for nearly 10 grand a day they damn well better have, right? The 6,000-ish square foot shingle-style cottage has seven bedrooms and four bathrooms and the grounds include a clay tennis court, gunite swimming pool and thatched-roof pool house.

6.
Black Eyed Peas front woman Fergie and her model turned actor man-mate Josh Duhamel (Las Vegas) appear to be in need of some temporary East Coast digs. Mister Duhamel was reportedly espied having a look-see at a 1,600 square foot apartment in a newly constructed rental tower called The Corner located on the corner of Broadway and West 72nd Street on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. The 15th floor spread features a curving wall of floor to ceiling windows in the living/dining/kitchen, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 (window-free) terliting facilities, a stacked washer/dryer closet, a secret safe for stashing jewels drugs and other valuables, and a 830 square foot set back terrace.

On the west coast Miss Fergie and Mister Duhamel live in the hills high above Los Angeles' upscale Brentwood area in an 8,232 square feet contempo-style crib with 8 bedrooms and 8.5 poopers that they snatched up in April of 2007 for $4,875,000 from director Brian De Palma (Mission: Impo.ssible, Bonfire of the Vanities, Scarface)

7.
The remarried widow of deceased celebrated celebrity caricaturist king Al Hirschfeld has heaved the artist's long-time New York City townhouse on the market with and asking price of $5,295,000. Mister Hirschfeld, who went to meet the Great Illustrator in the Sky back in 2003, purchased the 20-foot wide four-story Queen Anne-style townhouse in 1947 and painted the exterior bubblegum pink with white trim. The interior spaces of the 4,160 square foot are equally as colorful–if dingy and dusty looking with a lot of duct tape holding stuff together–and include 4-5 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms.

8.
There is some ugly business going down at the legendary Dakota building in New York City, people. U-G-L-Y, ugly.

Your Mama Hears...

...From the always informative and highly entertaining Kenny Kissintell that celebrity house flipper Diane Keaton–who sold her Ralph Flewelling-designed Beverly Hills mansion to Glee creator Ryan Murphy last year–recently leased another celebrity-owned home in Los Angeles. According to Kenny, a real estate yenta if there ever was one, Miz Keaton decamped her former home in the Bev Hills flats to rom-com queen Meg Ryan's Spanish-style stunner in the hoity-toity hills of Bel Air.

Naturally Your Mama isn't privy to what Miz Keaton pays Miz Ryan for the privilege of shacking up in her gorgeous gated estate, but we do know from a myriad of previous reports that the property was put our for lease in the fall of 2010 with a pocketbook scorching asking price of $40,000 per month. The 6,877 square foot meticulously renovated house has 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms and smoldering fashion guru turned filmmaker Tom Ford as a next door neighbor.

Miz Ryan, who has been trying to sell her Bel Air residence on and off since the dawn of time, currently spends most of her time either at her getaway on Chappaquiddick Island–that's Martha's Vineyard, puppies–or in New York City where it was reported last year in the New York Post that she signed lease agreements for a $25,000 per month three bedroom spread at the Jean Nouvel-designed 40 Mercer in SoHo.

Tweeter Ashton Kutcher And His Altruistic Real Estate Moment

SELLER: Asthon Kutcher
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,600,000
SIZE: 3,235 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday while settin' on the sofa picking at our fingernails and minding our own beeswax we received a press release regarding a Los Angeles, CA property listed at $2,600,000 and owned by actor/producer/cougar lover Ashton Kutcher. Mister Kutcher has put an unusual spin on the marketing of the property by turning the rehabbed residence into a charity show house with proceeds to benefit his own DNA Foundation. More on that later.

Mister Kutcher, a college drop out and former male model, started up his ladder of fame and fortune in the late 1990s as the remarkably obtuse pretty boy Michael Kelso on the sitcom That '70s Show. In the mid-2000s Mister Kutcher created and produced the juvenile and wildly successful Punk'd program. Since then he's produced a whole mess of junky reality television shows that include Miss Guided, Beauty and the Geek and True Beauty. In 2009, the poor son-of-a-bitch signed on to executive produce the spectacular tee-vee turkey The Beautiful Life: TBL. That short-lived show, which "starred" troubled "actress" Mischa Barton, was unceremoniously axed after only two episodes aired. That's right, hunnies, two! It was that bad. Your Mama predicts the two aired episodes–and bootlegged copies of the never-aired episodes–will become cult favorites for the same genre of film and television folks who think Showgirls is so bad it's brilliant.

In addition to all his producing duties, Mister Kutcher has a quite lucrative career as a rom-com king. He currently stars in the silly No Strings Attached with newly preggers Natalie Portman and in the last few years he starred in a number of overly saccharine air-brained chick-flicks like What Happens in Vegas, Spread, Valentine's Day and Killers.

In May of 2001, flush with new money from That '70s Show, he splashed out for a Beverly Hills bachelor pad. Property records and previous reports reveal that Mister Kutcher coughed up $1,690,000 to purchase a mini-estate in the Bev Hills Post Office with a 4,860 square foot half-timber Tudor-style house with six bedrooms and 6.5 poopers. The gated property, located at the tail end of a small and quiet cul-de-sac, has a swimming pool, spa and tennis court. Mister Kutcher owned the property until February of 2009 when property records reveal he sold it with an enviable profit for $3,675,000.

Long before selling his batch-pad in the Bev Hills, Mister Kutcher purchased a second house in Los Angeles, this one tucked into the hills above Laurel Canyon. Records and reports show that in September of 2004 he shelled out an even-steven $1,000,000 for a secluded house in the Laurel Hills neighborhood that's walking distance to the Mulholland Tennis Club.

According to the initial report on Zillow Mister Kutcher worked cheek to jowl with his father on the customization, renovation and expansion of the house. Los Angeles-based architect Duncan McIntösh was engaged to spearhead the design of the project that turned what was a fairly ordinary 2,002 square foot house into a 3,235 square foot contemporary Craftsman-style residence with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. Listing information shows the house, situated at the end of a long gated driveway, now includes a vaulted ceilings with exposed beams, hardwood floors throughout, scads of custom built-ins. The up-to-date eat-in kitchen has glass sliders that open to a dining terrace and a professional home theater has a booze bar and candy counter. All the winos out there will appreciate the temperature-controlled wine cooler and the custom 2-story wine tower that holds more than 200 bottles of booze.

Sliding glass doors open many of the rooms at the back of the house to the terraced back yard where an infinity-edge spa spills into an infinity-edge plunge pool that spills into a bubbling trough of water set into a stacked stone wall. Trails lead out into the rugged hillside and wind around the nearly 1-acre property.

As far as we know, Mister Kutcher never occupied the property because just a year after buying it he married actress Demi Moore. The May-December lovebirds now live in an all but flaw-less Marmol Radziner-renovated and Brad Dunning-decorated digs on a celebrity-lined canyon road in the Beverly Hills Post Office that they had photographed for the glossy pages of Architectural Digest in March of 2007.

Now then, getting back to Mister Kutcher's charity doohickey. Mister Kutcher and his a-list old-lady Demi Moore have a foundation called DNA–as in Demi and Ashton–that aims to bring awareness to the horrors of child sex slavery and provide funding for the rehabilitation of the hideously violated youngsters. A worthwhile cause to be sure.

According to the press release that landed unexpectedly in our inbox yesterday Mister Kutcher has turned the house in the Hollywood Hills into a decorator's show house with the staging assistance of a handful of Los Angeles architects and designers who include Giannetti Home, Erinn Valencich, Woodson & Rummerfield’s House of Design, William Hefner Architecture and Nickey Kehoe. Tours of the staged residence are offered at (a not inconsiderable) 250 bucks a pop with 100% of the proceeds of tour tickets being donated to Mister Kutcher and Miz Moore's DNA Foundation.

Mister Kutcher has also teamed up with interweb retailer Gilt City who will arrange an online flash sale of some of the items used in the staging day-core with ten percent of the proceeds of the sales going to DNA. The icing on this real estate meets charity cake is that big cheese listing agent Gary Gold of Hilton & Hyland has also offered to donate a percentage of his commission to DNA.

Tickets for tours can be purchased here.