LOCATION: Edgewater, NJ
PRICE: $2,199,000 (list)
SIZE: 4,200 square feet (approx.), 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
NOTE TO THE CHILDREN: In light of the devastating effects of the psychotic storm Sandy, Your Mama thought maybe today we should just give it a damn rest. "Who needs this kinds of stoopid celebrity real estate frivolity at a time like this?" we said to The Dr. Cooter as he scooted out the door at the crack of dawn. For Chrissakes. We can be a real beotch, but we are not heartless. Sometime in the late mid-morning, having touched based with most of our East Coast people who all—thankfully—made it through rattled but unharmed, we grew weary of the non-stop cable news coverage. We needed a break and thought that maybe a little celebrity real estate dish could maybe be a momentary respite for one or two of the children. We sincerely mean no disrespect to anyone who grappled with and/or continues to deal with the destructive seriousness of Sandy. Okay? Onward we go now...
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama does not (regularly) watch the reality program Ice Loves Coco but iffin we did we'd know that Grammy-winning rapper-actor Ice-T (Law & Order: SVU, New Jack City), his Showbizzing wife Coco and her SUV-sized backside recently acquired a very contemporary—and still under construction—single family residence just across the Hudson River from Manhattan in the river side community of Edgewater, NJ.
Before we set our celebrity real estate sights on their new digs, let's have some background education and a short go at their current crib, shall we?
The couple legally hitched their life and love wagons in 2001 and in August 2003 they sold Ice's long-time bachelor pad in Los Angeles, a nearly 4,000 square foot roost high above the Sunset Strip on sexy and dangerously curvy Sunset Plaza Drive. Property records show Ice had owned the house since at least the mid-1990s and unloaded it for exactly $2,000,000 to a gentleman who owns—or once owned, we're not sure if he still owns it or not—a high profile nightclub in West Hollywood that caters primarily to homosexuals and those who like to pal around with them and where a whole gaggles of those shade-slinging painted ladies from RuPaul's Drag Race* perform every Monday night at 10:30.
Anyhoo, the sassy, brassy and suh-waggy yet genuinely likable couple decamped for the East Coast—Ice was raised up in Newark and Alpine, NJ—where they settled into a penthouse rental on the Upper West Side with a glorious view of the Hudson River. At some point, we don't really know when because we don't actually know them, Ice T and Coco decided they were ready to plant some real estate roots in the New York City area.
We have no idea how the tri-terraced penthouse looked at the time of their purchase but we do know from at least one video easily accessible on the internets that they made the decoratively inexplicable decision to cover the Brazilian hardwood floors with plum-colored wall-to-wall carpeting, added custom built-ins for the flat screen and audio/visual equipment and—natch—put in a big ol' fish tank that glows blue at night.
They converted one of the three original bedrooms into a walk-in closet/dressing room for Coco and her extensive collection of high-heeled shoes and kitted out a windowless, bathroom-sized space hidden behind a paneled wall in the living room as an office/music studio—ahem—"man cave" for Ice.
Somewhere in there they installed—brace yerselves, butter beans—a goddamn stand-up tanning booth that ever-tan Coco uses to keep her skin that unnatural tawny tone she seems to prefer. Well, bless her heart. Doesn't she know that a lot of doctors, scientists and researchers surmise that tanning beds might have something to do with the uptick in melanoma rates, particularly with young women? Let's call her warned.
Other notable features of the top floor duplex include a living room area with soaring ceiling and sweeping river and city views, a separate dining space, an open-concept kitchen, a master bathroom with separate shower and jetted tub and a state-of-the-art home automation system that controls the lighting, window treatments and a/v equipment. The boutique building offers doorman services, a residents only fitness facility and on-site parking—there are two covered spots deeded to Ice T and Coco's penthouse, according to listing information.
Although the couple's penthouse does not appear to be listed on the open market, as of early August (2012) it was shown on the the website of the couple's camera-friendly real estate agent as being available for private showings with an asking price of $979,000.
A few quick clickety-clacks of the well-worn beads of Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals that even with a full price sale—it could happen, right?—Mister Ice T and his lady Coco are still faced with a jolting loss of $521,000, not counting carrying costs, improvements and customizations and the attendant real estate fees.
The couple have used their reality show to showcase their decision to sell their penthouse and purchase a new and larger residence where they'll have more room for man-caves, shoe shelves and guests, like, say, one of Mister Ice's children or grandchildren. That's right, hunties, Coco is the step-grandmother of two young children. Imagine that! That really takes the cherry off Your Mama's step-grandmother story. Ours was a worldly and wickedly smart, Mercedes-driving professor of economics who happened to deal a little dope on the side. Swear. To. God. Ask Sister Woman.
According to listing information squirreled out of the interweb plus a few tidbits revealed by their real estate agent on her blog Your Mama surmises that, when completed sometime near the end of this year (2012), Ice and Coco's new crib in Edgewater will sit up a gated—and heated—driveway and have about 4,200 fully customized square feet on four floors with an elevator and a 12-zone geothermal heating and cooling system "plus a 'man cave' for him (a six car garage) and a 550 sqft closet for her, which Ice affectionally [sic] calls the 'bitch cave.'" Now that's, klassy with "k," ain't it?
To be honest, puppies, Your Mama hadn't given any of this Ice and Coco real estate bizness more than a fraction of a second of thought until we heard from those Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial who snitched to Your Mama that, after a great deal of research, they managed to locate Ice and Coco's new house in Edgewater, even though the various property records data bases they make use of do not yet reflect their ownership of said house. Listing images still accessible online are, however, a dead match to the one on Ice and Coco's real estate agent's blog. Make of that what you will.
Their real estate agent promises in a November 2011 blog post that the couple's brief property search and their first tour of the house they actually bought will be chronicled on the second season of their show, Ice Love Coco, and Your Mama presumes that should there be a third season, the new house and it day-core will be prominently featured. Well, at least in the hideous aftermath of Sandy we have that to look forward too, don't we?
Back in November 2011 their real estate agent revealed, again on her blog, that Ice and Coco also maintain residences in Arizona and Florida. Your Mama doesn't find any immediate evidence they own any property in Arizona. That doesn't mean Ice and Coco don't own any property in Arizona, only that we could find no evidence of such a thing.
They actually sold their three bedroom and three bathroom penthouse in Sunny Isles, FL—that's due north of South Beach just south of Golden Beach—back in June (2012) for $1,290,000, a significant amount less than the $1,530,000 they paid for the place back in August 2007.
UPDATE (Next day): It seems the couple have yet to move into their new crib yet as Coco posted a video on the YouTube of her (and her colossal cleavage canyon) standing in the wind and pelting rain on the balcony of their Edgewater penthouse as Sandy barreled ashore.
*Neither Your Mama nor The Dr. Cooter will apologize for thinking that the world is a better place with RuPaul's Drag Race in it. It just is.
**We have no information at all about the couple's current or previous financial capabilities and they very likely opted to live in Jersey for any or many reasons that may may not have had anything to do with their pecuniary position.
***It might be a rendering, we're not sure.
****At least it's "always spectacular" to those who feel urban vistas.
*****The two adjacent homes that share a gated driveway and garage apron may or may not be exact mirror images when completed although they appear that way on the online available listings and marketing materials.
exterior photo (North Bergen): Google Maps
listing photos (Edgewater): Liberty Realty via Zillow
