More Charlie Sheen Real Estate Crazy

SELLER: Mike Medavoy
BUYER: Charlie Sheen
LOCATION: Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $7,495,000 (list); $6,999,999 (sale)
SIZE: 9,020 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: As our boozy b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau is want to say, "This can only end in tears, hunny, this can only end in tears."

For weeks now, crack pipe and prostie luvin' actor Charlie Sheen, who is currently "rehabbing" in his Sherman Oaks mansion, has been on a media blitz with interview after interview after interview of him rambling on and on and on about how he's healed his druggy ways and the sleeping arrangements with his pair of live-in "goddess" girlfriends. All of Mister Sheen's erratic and bizarre behavior is beyond fascinating, terrifically tragic and drips with schadenfreude. It is tabloid manna from heaven.

For weeks Mister Sheen has been yakking and gabbing to anyone with a camera who will listen about how he wants to buy a couple more mansions in the Mulholland Estates community where he lives, one for his ex-wife Denise Richards and another for his estranged soon to be ex-wife Brooke Mueller. Your Mama and anyone even remotely sane thinks that sounds like a stoopid real estate maneuver with disaster written all over it. Of course, what we think is of zero consequence and Mister Sheen is indeed (reportedly) pushing forward with his outlandish plan to turn the Mulholland Estates neighborhood into his own personal Hollywood style-polygamist compound where his ex-wives live in sister-wife harmony with each other and the harem of young porn stars and "models" shacked up with Mister Sheen .

Mister Sheen has two ex-wives (Donna Peele and Denise Richards), one estranged and soon-to-be ex-wife (Brooke Mueller) and one baby momma (Paula Profit). Altogether he has five children, a set of toddler twins with Miz Mueller, a couple of youngins with Miz Richards and a recently married 25-year old daughter with Miz Profit. Add in his coterie of live-in ladee friends and that's nearly a dozen people he has to keep living high on the hog. No wonder he's eager to get back to his million dollar-plus per episode job on the vapid and oppressively ordinary but enormously successful sitcom Two and a Half Men. The long-running show was put on hiatus last week after Mister Sheen made some rather unwise statements about the show and called its creator a "clown" and a "pussy." Nice, Chuckie-boy, really nice.

According to property records Mister Sheen paid $7,200,000 for his 7,924 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med mansion in April of 2006. With some assistance from Babbling Babette, we managed to coax some ancient listing information out of the internets that shows Mister Sheen's house was built in 1992 and includes 5 bedrooms and 6.5 poopers.

The increasingly unhinged-seeming actor has (allegedly) opened escrow on a large mansion that's just around the corner from his house and egg-borrowing distance from celebutante Paris Hilton's crime magnet of a mansion. We don't know which of his ex-wives Mister Sheen wants to move into this house but we do know that the sellers of the mansion in question are Hollywood heavyweight Mike Medavoy and his wife Irena.

Listing information for the two-story recently renovated property shows it was last listed at $7,495,000, measures 9,020 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms, 9 poopers and an elevator any anyone too infirm or lazy to climb or descend a single flight of stairs. There's also a double-height impress-the-guests-style foyer with curving staircase with leopard print runner, formal living and dining rooms, study, library and large gourmet kitchen with all-new Bosch brand appliances. The upstairs master suite has a fireplace, flat-screen tee-vee, French doors that open to a private covered terrace with city lights and mountain views and a custom-fitted walk-in closet the size of a Manhattan studio apartment. The attached bathroom has a jetted tub, separate steam shower and plenty of counter space on the vanity for several thousands of dollars worth of La Prairie lotions and potions.

The decent-sized but far from large backyard is equipped with all the de rigueur accouterments expected in a seven million dollar home in a gated Los Angeles community: swimming pool, spa, large terraces, heated veranda, a patch of grass and a sunken bar/kitchen/barbecue center with counter top seating.

Mister and Missus Medavoy seem to have been stricken with a serious case of The Real Estate Fickle that they just can't shake. In September of 2009, after several attempts and several years, Mister and Missus Medavoy finally unloaded their 10,769 square foot East Coast-style mansion in Beverly Park, perhaps Los Angeles's most illustrious guard-gated community of steroidal mansions. They originally wanted $23,000,000 but in the end, according to prop records, they accepted a significantly lower sales price $12,500,000.

The Medavoy's moved to a low-slung, 6,200 square foot house in the trendy Trousdale Estates neighborhood in Beverly Hills that they'd bought for $5,850,000 and that Your Mama's feisty friend Trina Trousdale described disparagingly as "corporate Côte d'Azur." Ouch. The kitty has claws. Nine months later the peripatetic pair flipped the 4 bedroom and 7 pooper pad back on the market with an asking price of $7,495,00 and sold in late June 2010 to a Canadian concern for $7,500,000, five thousand smackers over the asking price.

In late September of 2010 Mister and Missus Medavoy closed on the house in the Mulholland Estates 'hood that they are now, reportedly, selling to Charlie Sheen. Property records show they paid $6,000,000 for the property that they flipped back on the market just 4.5 short months later for $7,495,000. No word–yet–on what amount Mister Sheen is (allegedly) paying for the property and no word–yet–on which ex-wife he wants to move into the house.

It seems doubtful that either Miz Richards or Miz Mueller would actually move into the Medavoy mansion; Miz Mueller has filed a temporary restraining order against Mister Sheen in an effort to shield their children from the ongoing chaos and Miz Richards is in the latter stages of an extensive renovation of her house in the horsey and gated Hidden Hills community out near Calabasas, CA. None-the-less, there are currently two other mansions on the open market in the Mulholland Estates, one a 9,000 square foot "Italian Mediterranean Villa" listed at $5,499,000 and the other a newly constructed mansion with a 14,000 square foot main house and a 3,000 square foot guest house listed just days ago with an asking price of $13,995,000 and one is tempted to wonder if Mister Sheen will make on offer on one or the other of those mansions too.

Besides Charlie Sheen, the Mulholland Estates is currently home to a number of Tinseltown types like Paris Hilton, Judith Light, Robbie Williams and Wheel of Fortune letter turner Vanna White. Previous residents of the upscale enclave include Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, Paula Abdul, Tom Jones, Paul Anka, Loni Anderson, John Fogerty and Shaquille O'Neal.

Given the large number of current and post high-profile residents who pay high homeowner association dues–listing information shows the Medavoy manse has monthly fees of $1,000– and the 24-7 guarded entrance gates one would think that the Mulholland Estates is locked down like Fort damn Knox. But apparently that is not the case; The community has been a hotbed of celebrity-related crimes the last few years.

In late 2008 and into 2009 Paris Hilton's house was burgled numerous times by the so-called Bling Ring and in one early morning in August 2010 Miss Hilton's gun-toting man-friend Cy Waits confronted some wing nut armed with two large knives who was banging on the front door to her mansion. Not once but twice in 2010 Charlie Sheen rather bizarrely had an S-Class Mercedes stolen from his driveway, driven out of the guarded gates of the community and run off a nearby cliff.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Beverly Hills South