Jude Law and Siena Miller Make it Official

BUYER: Jude Law and Siena Miller
LOCATION: London, U.K.
(GUIDE) PRICE: £7,950,000
SIZE: 5,092 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: All the British tabs and international blogs are abuzz and atwitter today with the celebrity real estate news that supermodel mommy Kate Moss is pulling up stakes and moving from her "jinxed" house in London's St. John's Wood to the affluent and star studded Highgate area.

Miss Moss recently (and allegedly) dumped around £7,500,000 for a 7 bedroom house in Highgate. According to Your Mama's currency conversion contraption that comes to $11,646,800 at today's rates. It's expected that along with 8-year old daughter Lila, Miss Moss will be joined in her new crib by Jamie Hince, her rock 'n roller boy-beau of three years.

Even though Miss Moss only purchased her home in St. John's Wood a couple of years ago Your Mama is not the least bit surprised she would want to pack up her Jimmy Choos and hightail it out of there. In May of 2010 Miss Moss's residence was burgled and just a few days later, due to some horrific problem with the plumbing, her basement filled up with raw sewage. Raw sewage, chickadoodles is, in part, untreated human crap. Some reports say that Miss Moss has already listed her St. John's Wood property with a price tag of around £10,000,000, about two million pounds more than she paid for the place in 2007 however, we've yet to find any evidence of the that on the interweb.

The upscale Highgate 'hood has long been a favorite among British celebrities. Current big-name property owners reportedly include virile Oscar nominated actor Clive Owen (Closer, Inside Man, The International) who has a home just around the corner from one of several London residences owned by rock star Sting and his tantric sexing wife Trudy Styler who have been known to let the large house in Highgate to high profile peeps like Pierce Brosnan. A few doors down from Sting and Trudes is homosexual pop music super star/too frequent drunk driver/tea house queen George Michael who some reports say bought his Highgate home from the dee-voon musician Annie Lennox.

A few more doors beyond Georgie-boy are the newest a-list residents of Highgate, 2-time Oscar nominated actor Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, Sherlock Holmes) and his on-again/off-again/on-again ladee-pal Siena Miller (Alfie, Factory Girl). That's right, kids, all signs and reports suggest that the posh pair recently bit the relationship (and real estate) bullet and bought a fancy new house where they can officially shack up in sin.

Mister Law and Miss Miller, former co-stars who started canoodling during the filming of Alfie in 2003–split up in 2005 after it was revealed he was having an affair with the nanny of his children with ex-wife Sadie Frost. While separated they both sowed some wild oats. Miss Miller had an affair with the very married actor and father of four Balthazar Getty and Mister Law fathered his fourth child from brief fling with a model. In late 2009 both Miss Miller and Mister Law were living in New York City while each performed in different Broadway shows. They rekindled their romance while Mister Law was shacked up in a not particularly private rented penthouse apartment near Washington Square Park.

Like many high profile people, both Mister Law and Miss Miller are fickle in regards to their real estate. It was only in March of 2008 when Mister Law convinced his landlord to sell him the 4-story Georgian house he'd been renting in London's luxe Maida Vale neighborhood. It was reported at the time that in addition to the £3,500,000 he spent to purchase the place that he intended to spend another million pounds to renovate and customize the 5 bedroom abode.

In 2007 Miss Miller shelled out £1,200,000 for a quirky 2,095 square foot Victorian house in London on the border of swank St. John's Wood and decidedly not-posh part of Paddington where it's surrounded by council flats. In addition to soaring ceilings, the 2 bedroom and 3 pooper property included a full Turkish bath and sauna on the lower ground floor. Miss Miller listed her house at a loss in June of 2009 for £995,000 and reportedly decamped to a 16th-century thatched cottage she owns near Stroud in rural Gloucestershire.

According to one of Your Mama's informants in London the comely couple recently smacked down something just under eight million pounds for a Grade II listed Georgian style townhouse on one of London's more desirable semi-suburban streets. Listing information kindly provided by London's Larry Letmetellyouathingortwo shows the 5,092 square foot house that Mister Law and Miss Miller (allegedly) purchased was listed with a guide price–that's price tag in Americanese–of £7,950,000 and stands four floors above ground plus a fully finished basement level. Built sometime around 1820, the double fronted house includes 7 bedrooms and a total of 5.5 poopers. Don't any of the children bother to harass Your Mama asking us what a "double fronted" house is because we don't know.

Before continuing Your Mama needs to remind the children that the listing photos shows the day-core of the sellers, which means neither Mister Law or Miss Miller is responsible for the entertaining but disharmonious floral patterned Pascal Knapp cow grazing by the window in the drawing room. (That is a Pascal Knapp sculpture, right?)

A small, walled and gated courtyard at the front of the house leads to the front door that opens into a generously-sized reception hall where a staircase winds dramatically up three floors. Around the front hall orbits a petite study, powder pooper, a bantam but well equipped kitchen with a shockingly puny refrigerator/freezer, and a decent sized drawing room with honey colored hardwood floors, a fireplace and French doors that open to a large terrace that overlooks the backyard. Behind the kitchen a dining/sitting room has a fireplace, hardwood floors, and a wide bank of windows and French doors that, like in the drawing room next door, open to the large terrace at the back of the house.

The lower ground floor–this would be called the basement in America–could easily function as a fully self-contained suite for staff or guests. An entry hall accessible both from the interior of the house and directly from the front courtyard leads to a bedroom with a fireplace on the immediate right a bedroom and to the left a flexible use room that can be put to use as a home office, massage room or an additional bedroom. At the rear of the basement level, a family room with fireplace has French doors that open into a light well with staircase up to the backyard. A second kitchen is open to the family room and a window-free pooper completes the lower ground floor plan.

The elegant and grand staircase leads up from the reception hall to the first floor–which in America we call the second floor–where a master bedroom includes an entire wall of closets, small balcony that overlooks the backyard and a large terliting and bathing facility with double sink set-up, separate shower and a sizable soaking tub. Next to the master another bedroom opens to a terrace and located off the hall are laundry facilities and pooper. Iffin Your Mama were Mister Law or Miss Miller, which of course we are not, we'd combine and convert the entire first floor to a seriously celebrity style suite with custom fitted dressing room, terrace and his and her poopers. Perhaps something like below:

One floor up from the master bedroom three more bedrooms share two bathrooms and the third floor has two more wee rooms that could be used as bedrooms or art studios or a Pilates room or whatever. A 35+ foot long sky-lit playroom that stretches along the entire back side of the top floor could be converted to even more bedrooms or perhaps transformed into a media room a media room where Mister Law and Missus Miller could screen movies for their famous friends and neighbors.

The house has an exceptionally wide backyard with a large square patch of grass surrounded by thick, privacy ensuring foliage. The property, according to listing information, comes with off street parking for 4 automobiles plus a diminutive detached single car garage barely big enough to fit an Audi A4 or whatever sort of car Mister Law and/or Miss Miller might own.

Your Mama wishes Mister Law and Miss Miller all the real estate happiness in the world, but we have a cold suspicion in our dark soul that these two peripatetic and mercurial types–it seems to Your Mama they switch homes and lovers on a whim–may get relationship and/or real estate itchy feet sooner rather than later. We shall see, poodles, we shall see.

Speaking of poodles, y'all must excuse Your Mama because we have to go wring the rain from our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly who have happily been out in the incessant deluge all morning sniffing and pulling up worm snacks.

listing photos: Marcus Parfitt