Your Mama Keeps on Hearing...

...tons of tidbits and morsels about the (alleged) impending sale of the recently rehabbed Beverly Hills, CA mansion that sitcom star and rom-com queen Jennifer Aniston has on the market with a blistering $42,000,000 price tag.

The latest 411 comes down the gossip grapevine from a well-connected informant deep inside the Beverly Hills real estate whirligig who snitched to Your Mama that despite it still being marked "active" in the MLS, Miss Aniston's 10,000-ish square foot single story residence is in escrow for $35,500,000. We'd previously heard the sale price was going to be thirty-seven million, give or take a million. Make of that what you will, pets. Either way it's a far larger number than any of the Chicken Littles and Debbie Downers thought Miss Aniston would get for her 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom city-view abode.

Over the last few weeks we've several times heard the buyer is "that Russian with the big yacht." That would be noted and notorious trophy property collector and multi-billionaire Roman Abramovich and his oil and arms heiress/baby momma Daria 'Dasha' Zhukova. We've also heard Russian energy and banking billionaire Andrey Melnichenko's name batted about. He too has the finances and a massive boat called A that spent some time bobbing in the ocean off the coast of Venice (CA) last fall. Twice now we've heard that the buyer is not a Russian billionaire at all but rather a New York City financier with a pampered wife who just had to have it.

Clearly, kids, Your Mama don't know shit from Shinola about the real details of the (allegedly impending) sale of Miss Aniston's mansion and we're sure that is just how Miss Aniston likes it. Howevuh, puppies, where there is this much real estate smoke there is almost always fire and no matter who the buyer and what the exact amount of the sale may be, it seems quite clear to Your Mama this real estate bride is about to walk walk itself down the aisle much sooner and for a much higher amount than most anyone with an opinion on the matter ever thought it would.

Miss Aniston, as celebrity real estate watchers already know, reportedly plans to spend more time in New York City where she spent just over seven million smackers in late April (2011)–$7,019,084 to be exact–to acquire two wee one bedroom apartments in a lovely pre-war building in New York City's over-gentrified West Village. One of the apartments, a puny penthouse sold by hair honcho (and oil heiress) Sally Hershberger, has a deep wrap around terrace with to-do-for views south, west and north. Rumor on the real estate street is that Miss Aniston is also in contract for a third contiguous one bedroom spread last listed with an asking price of $1,995,000. Once a lengthy and expensive renovation combines the three units her duplex digs will measure between 2,500 and 3,000 square feet.

Star magazine reported this week that Miss Aniston and her new squeeze, New York-based actor and hipster Justin Theroux–who has one eyebrow permanently, dramatically and fantastically arched higher than the other–have "fast-tracked their love affair" and are fixin' to live together in Miss Aniston's new duplex penthouse pad in The Big Apple.

Your Mama does not know a paper bag from lemon tree so we certainly don't know if the living together business has a shred of validity. We suspect, though, that there might be some misinformation somewhere since it's highly unlikely Miss Aniston will occupy her new crib in N.Y.C. for quite some time to come since it will take considerable time to combine and reconfigure the two (or three) apartments into one a-list living space suitable for a showbiz luminary.

We can imagine Miss Aniston camping out pied-a-terre-in Miss Hershberber's former penthouse pad for a few days or weeks but we do not for a moment believe that Miss Aniston can fit her life–plus whatever of his possessions she would allow Mister Theroux to bring–into just one itty-bitty penthouse apartment where the bedroom is smaller than just one of the two bathrooms in the expansive master suite of her (allegedly) soon to be sold Beverly Hills mansion. (Phew!) Most of the hotel rooms in which she stays are larger than that for christ-damn-sakes.
She may want to simplify her life, but she does not, we would bet our long bodied bitches, want to go back to living in an 800 square foot one bedroom apartment where guests must traipse through the bedroom to get to the bathroom.

What we do know is that fickle Miss Aniston hasn't entirely tossed in the towel when it comes to owning a residence in on the left coast. Not only does she continue to own a 2 bedroom and 3 bathroom house high above the Sunset Strip that she bought in 1993 for $751,000, Your Mama just heard from a gabby source who tattled that Miss Aniston–with her new pot of man-hunny in tow–have recently peeped and poked around a number of houses not far from her current spread including a sexy contemporary above the Sunset Plaza shopping and dining district currently pocket listed for around seven million clams and once leased by a music and entertainment mogul with a too-frequently changing name.